Sara's Vision Quest

Spirit Animal FOUND!

2008-09-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

For those of you who would like to see the spirit animal that revealed itself to me on my Vision Quest, click away: http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2184684&l=3eac7&id=616632

SF Update

2008-07-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

Hello...
So in case you are wondering why I've appeared to have completely sold out by posting Google Ads on my blog, it is because I have an interview tomorrow with Google Adsense and I am trying to familiarize myself with the product. Three job interviews this week, and a number of housing options lined up. I am loving SF and will let you know when all of the variables in my life have been determined!
xo,
S

Home!

2008-06-13T01:01:00.000-07:00

FYI - I am home, safe and sound! What an amazing trip. The feeling is so surreal that it is almost as if I had a dream that I went to Africa and just woke up the day before yesterday. Tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn I head to the airport for a week in San Fran to start to lay the foundations for the next chapter. Never a dull moment!

Not Good

2008-06-05T06:27:00.000-07:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7423444.stm

So yeah... I decided to stay in Malawi. Completed my PADI Open Water Certification yesterday, then went on another dive this morning, and am going on a night dive tonight. Home in 4 days!

Final Thoughts on Malawi

2008-06-02T02:27:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
I am writing from Nkhata Bay, Malawi. I got here at about 4:30am yesterday morning after a relaxing two days aboard the Ilala Ferry. I was sad to say goodbye to the kids, people, and cushy digs in Liwonde with HELP Malawi. But I was excited for the final days of my journey, cruising through Lake Malawi, finally finishing off the last of the books I've been lugging around with me the entire way, and ready to put the finishing touches on my tan before I get back.
Nkhata Bay is as peaceful as can be. Yet (I never thought I would ever hear myself say this), I almost feel like I am as relaxed as I possibly can get. And when you are no longer in the process of relaxing, but rather already relaxed, does it make trying to relax less enjoyable? These are important philosophical quandaries...
I guess what I mean is, without anything to do, am starting to get a little bit bored, and antsy for what is next. I am moving to San Francisco and I am so excited about it. In retrospect, I am glad to have waited until I really knew I was ready before making the move. All of the new SF friends I have met on this journey will definitely help make the transition easier!

With exactly one week left before I head back to the states, I am torn between trying to pull a last minute travel bender to Zanzibar. While this was my original plan, I now have only about 5 days to pull it off, of which a minimum of 48 hours involves more international travel via public transport. I have been so steadfastly devoted to getting to Zanzibar, and even decided it was worth all of the travel drama to get there. Now I find out from a girl in my hostel that the island is experiencing its worst power cut in years, which started two weeks ago and doesn't look like it will be fixed anytime soon. Water prices is soaring, and many businesses have closed down because they are unable to afford generator power. This definitely throws a wrench in my plans. I have the next 12 hours to decide what I am going to do...

The Saga: Part 2

2008-05-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

Well I can tell by all of your comments that part 1 of the saga was so riveting that you just couldn't WAIT to find out more?! That was sarcastic. Nobody has commented on my blog in quite a while now and I have to admit, it makes me a little bit sad. For what its worth, it totally makes my day when people comment - otherwise I have no way to know who (if anyone?!) is reading. Well screw you all anyways, everyone knows its the writing itself that's the cathartic part.

But back to the saga:

So how did I survive this crazy situation? Well, it was definitely not without a large dose of luck. Minutes after I finished writing in my journal, a local woman tells me that she, too, is headed for Lilongwe and that I can tag along with her. Still over my head about the money (or lack thereof) situation, I get into the first border-bound 'taxi' - in reality more like a 20-year old Toyota Corolla stuffed with 8 passengers - without much of a plan. When we get to the border, my new friend/guardian angel agrees to front me the money and take me to an ATM in Lilongwe where I can pay her back. Thank god! This woman's generosity completely saved my ass.

We proceed to bounce from taxi to taxi, corolla to corolla, finally arriving into Lilongwe 4 taxis and 4 hours later. Kindly, this woman helps me call David, the contact person at H.E.L.P. Malawi, finds me a Malawian simcard for my phone, some breakfast, and puts me on the right bus for Liwonde. Another jam-packed 4 hour bus ride later, I disembark groggily in Lowinde - a town that looks like the identical twin of about every other roadside town we have passed so far: dusty dirt roads, devolving cement and mud-brick edifices, women and children peddling everything from bananas to peanuts to fried bread and potatoes on the side of the road.

I had told David to expect me, and was hoping that we would find eachother on the sheer fact that we are likely to be the only two white people within a 10km radius of the town. I get out, wander a few steps, and sure enough, find David. He guides me toward another mazungo (white person), who turns out to be Jillian Wolstein, the founder and executive director of the organization. I join them for a cold coke and a plate of chips (fries) at one of the town's few restaurants, and tell them about my long and crazy journey. Long story abbreviated, I come to find out that I am sitting in this restaurant in the middle of nowhere in Malawi with two Jews from Cleveland. Ha! What are the odds. It is a seriously small world, I'm telling you.

So we take their safari-esque old school Landrover down the dirt road to Mvuu camp, where the operation is headquartered. It is pristine and incredibly remote. To get to the lodge itself requires a boat across a sparkling river, full of grumbling hippos and stealthy crocodiles. Baboons, elephants, and water buck traipse along the river banks. It is clear that we are in a national park.

Upon reaching the lodge, my fate changes for the better, and in a matter of a few hours, I have gone from rags to riches. The beautiful 4 star safari lodge sits overlooking the river, with dark wood and thatched roofs, canvas-cushioned chairs woven from wood and wicker. As a volunteer, I get to stay here for free - and due to the current overflow of people (Jillian has brought with her an entourage of 5 people), I get to stay my first few nights in a luxury chalet by the river. There is a family of warthogs that munches grass outside my door. They look like Pumba from the Lion King. The beds are soft, the water is hot, and the view of the sun setting over the river is absolutely spectacular.

But things get better when I emerge for dinner to find white linen tablecloths and a three-course menu. The only thing that could and did make me happier was when I discovered that breakfast include da build-your-own omelette bar. Build your own omelette bar?! Where am I?

The following afternoon, I get my first taste of Nanthomba school, the primary school where I will be working. I sit in on a Standard 7 (7th grade class), and help teach an English lesson. The class ended in a full-on Malawian dance party, which, in my opinion, is when these kids' personalities shine the most. The sense of rhythm here is unbelievable, and it is such a freeing and expressive part of their culture.

Last night was David's 25th birthday, and we spent it drinking and dancing around the fire at a cultural village, as a local Malawian band played and the entire village danced alongside us late into the night. I am getting some serious practice in African dance!

That is all for now. Life is good. More soon.

The Saga: Part 1

2008-05-21T06:05:00.000-07:00

May 18, 2008
5:00 am
Chipata (?), Zambia

After a period of smooth sailing, I am experiencing the toughest and most challenging day of travel since my stint from Maseru to Coffee Bay, and even that pales in comparison. I woke up at 5:30 am yesterday morning after parting ways sadly and indefinitely with my new friends from my overland trip.

I showed up at the bus station in Livingstone, Zambia about 15 minutes before the bus departed for Lusaka, which I (mistakenly?) took to be a good omen for my travels. 7 hours later, the bus arrived in the Lusaka bus station and I find out that there are no busses running directly to Malawi, as I was previously told, but instead I have to go another 9 hours to Chipata, where I can THEN catch my 1.5 hour bus to Lilongwe, Malawi's capital. With only American dollars and a mild sense of panic on me, I hastily exchanged money with some dodgy black market dealer and later realized that I had been scammed out of at least 10 dollars. Damn it!

The bus, mildly put, is a "locals bus," and I am the only white face among its passengers, loaded at least 15-20 people over capacity. I proceed to sit on the bus for 3 hours as it idles in the Lusaka station watching locals bring aboard everything from sacks of grain, to babies swathed in cloth around their backs, to solar-powered battery chargers. By the time the bus grumbles out of the station, the aisles are full with suitcases, boxes, and bags of grain - on top of which an additional row of people is seated.

Perhaps the highlight of the drive was a pit stop at Zambia's Luangwa bridge at about 9:30pm, where I disembarked to a cacophony of rhythmic Zambian reggae music and the soft glow of candles, illuminating a nighttime market where women peddled fruits, vegetables, and dry salted fish. It was one of those rare, complately authentic travel moments. The only foreigner among the crowd, I felt I was witnessing one of Zambia's hidden secrets. Of course, my camera failed to deliver in that moment, but I will always remember this memory.

Finally, 9 hours after leaving Lusaka, I awake groggily at 2am to find that the bus has arrived at the Chipata station (read: barren lot). Asking one of the attendants about the morning bus to Lilongwe, I find out that the bus only runs certain days of the week and - surprise! - tomorrow is not one of them. Instead, I have to take a combination of three more local "taxis" (read: 8 people packed into a 1980 Toyota Corolla) to reach Lilongwe.

The attendant tells me the price and I return to the bus to check my money situation, only to find that the failsafe Bank of Brazier has, indeed, failed me. I am left groping myself in public in an attempt to recover the lost bills, but to no avail. I am missing $70,000 Zambian Kwatre, or approximately $25 US Dollars. This is the last of my money and there is no ATM in an 100 mile radius. I am starting to panic at this moment, finally uncovering $11 USD in cash among all of my possessions. Value-wise, this should be enough to get me across the border, where there is rumored to be an ATM. However, none of the taxis accept US currency and the black market traders, uninterested in small bills, will take a cut so large that I will again not have enough to make it as far as the ATM.

I fall into a fitful sleep on the parked bus for two hours before I am awoken at 4:30am with a CRASH! as the bus driver, attempting to move the bus, has instead rear-ended another. I reach to gather my possessions and realize that, somehow, in the middle of the night, the bus cleaner has thrown out my entire bag full of food as well as my two bottlees of water.

So here I am, in Chipata at 5:00 am, writing this in attempt to fend off the impending panic. I have officially broken nearly every one of my self-set travel rules, which is to always have in my possession food, water, suncreen, bugspray, my passport, and enough money to buy a bus ticket and a bottle of rum. At the time being, I find myself at a loss for arguably the three most important of these things.

How am I going to find a way out of this mess?

To be continued...

Endings and new beginnings

2008-05-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hello hello!
It's been a while since my last post, so thanks for bearing with me. Somehow I find that the less I write, the less I am inclined to write. But I will try to break that pattern.
I arrived at Victoria Falls with my overland group at about noon today. We spent the afternoon galavating along the incredible vistas, getting soaked by the spray, and listening to Vic Falls' notorious "thunder." Talk about an unbelievable place. The magnitude and breadth of water rushing over the falls is so awe-inspiring that it could make even the staunchest atheist believe in a higher power. It was definitely one of the highlights of my trip thus far, and, timely enough, its conclusion. The day after tomorrow I am hopping a bus from Livingstone, Zambia to Lilongwe, Malawi to begin my brief period of volunteer work at a Malawian school. The school is located inside Liwonde National Park, meaning its definitely going to be rural in the wildest sense of the word - Liwonde is known for is abundant hippo and elephant populations.
The organization is called H.E.L.P. Malawi - you can visit their website at www.helpmalawichildren.org.

I first heard about the organization from an Israeli guy named Yiftach who I met in Vilanculos, Mozambique. I mentioned that I have really been wanting to do some volunteer work while I am here in Africa, but most of the programs charge you as much as $2500 for two weeks, which is absurd. I have a moral issue with my having to pay to volunteer my time... it just doesn't sit right with me. Yiftach mentioned that he had met the founder of this organization and that she was looking to find teachers for the organizations fledgling school. Ironically, she happens to be an American housewife from Ohio who has dedicated her entire life savings to start this organization, and she travels back and forth between Malawi and Ohio, where she has three kids. I am very excited to get involved, and it sounds like the volunteers there are very excited to have me.

I am sad that this tour is ending, as I have made a lot of friends and enjoyed the laid back, hands-off traveling. But my anticipation for the next three weeks far outweighs my sadness, and I am ready to be off on my own once again. Each chapter of this "Africa-quest" has been entirely unique and complementary to the next, so I know that what comes will be full of excitement and adventures.

It is crazy to think that, exactly one year ago yesterday, I graduated from college. I can't believe its already been an entire year?! I have a journal entry that I will excerpt here eventually to explain my thoughts on it in more detail, but the long and short of it is... if one year ago I had been able to see myself now, I would have been overwhelmed with excitement and pride. I am really here, I am doing this, I am living and loving every moment to the fullest. It dawned on me a few days ago when I was riding in a mokoro - a traditional Botswanan dugout wood canoe - through the Okavango Delta. It was one of the paramount reasons I wanted to come on this trip. I remember sitting on my bed late at night with the heat of my laptop burning the top of my covers, looking up pictures and maps of the Delta. At that point, making it as far as the Okavango Delta in Botswana seemed almost like a complete and utter pipe dream. I had no idea if I would be able to make it in Africa for that long, let alone to make it that far. It was an amazing moment to realize that I am really living my dreams.

Indeed, a cheesy success story if there ever was one....

Another hello

2008-05-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
A quick hello from Windhoek, the capital of Namibia. My internet access has been rare and limited, and it appears only to be getting more so. I have been really enjoying my overland trip, despite the fact that it seems like easier and more "touristy" traveling than I have been used to. Nevertheless, sometimes it is nice to sit back and relax with a beer and/or and good book and let someone else do the driving. Tomorrow we are venturing into Botswana and into the famed Okavango Delta, which I would encourage you all to google image search, because it is supposed to be absolutely unreal. My trip ends in just over a week in Victoria Falls, and from there, the real adventure begins as I venture out into Malawi and Zanzibar for my final three weeks in Africa. All is well here and I miss and love you guys, I am starting to get excited about coming home and seeing all my friends and family again....

... but not too excited ;)

hi from namibia

2008-05-02T07:20:00.000-07:00

i am in namibia, pretty delirious from lots of early mornings and full-day drives. lets just say that there is a lot of sand here and tomorrow i am going to ride on it with a board.

Self-Reflection (excerpted from my journal)

2008-04-26T02:15:00.000-07:00

Entry #2 from Capetown - today is my last day here. I am sad because I have had some amazing times here but I am more excited because, after 10 days, I am ready for what's next. And, lucky for me, what's next happens to be a three-week overland camping trip through Namibia, Botswana, and ending in Victoria Falls.

I have to say, things worked out fatefully well with my itinerary. By the time I was mid-way through the Garden Route, I was so ready for a big city. Then I arrived in Capetown and proceeded to party ever night for one week straight, go on a shopping spree and charge almost $500 to my credit card. In my 11 days here, I have seen every single sight, done (almost) every single activity that the Mother City has to offer. And I must say - she has been good to me. I have some great memories from my time here. But now, 11 days later, I am ready to blow this popsicle stand! Now I could not be more ready to get back into "real" Africa, be in the wild and in the boonies, camp! And, apropos as it is, that is what comes next for me.

The days are rolling by and I am so so happy, so relaxed. I have been traveling for approximately 40 days now and there has rarely been a dull moment. Overall, my times alone have been cherished because I am so often with another traveler. I am so excited, wonderous, and brave. I am so thankful for this experience, for the amazing blessings that have marked my journey thus far. On my last day in Capetown and I have been safe and healthy the whole way through. I feel that God, or some greater force, must be looking out for me, protecting me. Who knows, maybe I am creating it for myself out of my own intentionality to be safe. Either way, I feel for the first time this year that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, I am exactly the person I want to be. I have been groping so long to find this feeling, and to finally possess it makes me feel so incredibly fulfilled and free. Every day is the best day of my life. How could it not be? The world is at my fingertips... literally.

I am breaking so many outdated beliefs that I created about myself years ago - I am not an outdoors person, I get homesick, I am a spoiled brat, I can't do it on my own. Well guess what, I was wrong. Maybe not wrong, per se, but I had been continuing to idnetify myself out of an identity that had been created by a child, as if it were steadfast and true. So I was a 10 year old girl whose sleeping bag got rained on at horse back riding camp and I had one of the most miserable nights of my life. Who wouldn't have been miserable under those conditions? But I created from that that I wasn't "outdoorsy," and I have operated ever since as if it were true. Sure, I may be a fair-weather camper, but who isn't? Who wants to go camping in a hail storm? Now I find myself on the brink of a three-week camping trip through Southern Africa and I ask myself, if I am not an outdoorsy person, to do this, then I don't know what I am.

Of course, this is only one example of the ways that I find myself constantly recreating myself, redefining myself and my sense of self-identity here. I am no longer constrained by my past configuarations, limitations of self. Every moment is generative, an opportunity to create myself anew.

xoxo,
Sara

Shark Diving, etc.

2008-04-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

Hello!
Another post from Capetown, where I have been for the past 8 days. The "Mother City" has certainly been keeping my wallet well-exercised with her adventure activities, tours, shops, markets, and late night parties. I have been busy every day with a different activity... as I sit here writing this I am seasick from the constant feeling of sea swells rocking the floor of the internet cafe. I have been on a boat all day on a Great White Shark cage diving expedition (sorry mom), which I was talked into late yesterday afternoon by another new San Franciscan friend. It was a "once in a lifetime opportunity," as is everything here....
I was pretty nervous all morning and even got away without signing the indemnity form as there was a part of me that seriously believed today I could get eaten by a shark and die, or even by a "freak wave" which capsized a boat in the same waters last week and killed two American and one Norweigan tourist. There was a memorial at the dock and it was quite a sad sight. As luck would have it, I made it out alive and am here to tell the tale.
The swells were really big in the morning and I was sedated from a dramamine as we motored out into the shark-infested waters. We sat for a while with our chum bait of 6 tuna heads tied to the end of a rope, and watched as the boat of the nearest tour operator seemed to be drawing in shark after shark. The tourists shouts of excitement echoed over to us and we looked over anxiously. Finally the first couple of sharks surfaced to pursue our bait and the view from the boat was amazing, if even better than from the water, due to the mediocre visibility. The first group of 5 jumped into the cage and waited for 30 minutes in the frigid Capetownian waters for a shark, but only had one distant sighting before being called out.
I, of course, fell asleep in my wetsuit, curled up in fetal position on top of the cooler in a seasick and dramamine-induced stupor, keeping the rest of the passengers fairly dehydrated for lack of access to the boat's stash of refreshments. I wish I could say it was a more badass experience than this, and it is, mildly.
At the last possible round of diving, Lisako (my new friend) and I jumped into the cage and, thanks to a fresh batch of tuna heads, got three amazing sightings of the biggest sharks of the day - a female at least 12 feet long. After the initial adrenaline rush kicked in, the temperature of the water had left my mind completely, although my entire body was shaking from the cold. I waited an additional 20 minutes in the cage, but our initial sightings proved to be the last ones of the day. Cold and satisfied, I changed back into my warm clothes.
It was a great day and although I am exhausted and completely woozy now, I faced the infamous Great Whites of the Southern Cape and was surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) more phased by the cold water than the beasts themselves.
Either way, I got some great pictures, and intend to post them soon.

Sorry mom! I wanted to make sure I made it out alive before telling you...

Lesotho photos are up!

2008-04-20T02:40:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2151979&l=2ee02&id=616632

Capetown

2008-04-18T01:48:00.000-07:00

Hi from Capetown! I am writing from an internet cafe that doubles as a barbershop. Only in Africa...

I arrived here three days ago and have been having a blast. The morning before I caught the bus to Capetown, I went on a kloofing expedition - also known as canyoning - which basically involves hiking and swimming through a river canyon/ravine. It was beautiful but I was freezing cold, and couldn't help thinking that I am temporarily maxed out on outdoor adventure excursions and ready for some big city action.

Getting to Capetown after having spent a month in tribal village huts and tiny beach towns was definitely a shock to the system. I haven't been in a big city since my plane arrived in Johannesburg, and suffice to say, I didn't exactly venture out to see what it was all about. Luckily it didn't take long for me to tap into my city girl roots, and in no time I was doing some considerable damage at the local shops and bars.

It is great to see my brother again. University of Capetown is absolutely stunning - Ivy-flanked stone buildings set to the beautiful backdrop of Table Mountain. I enjoyed seeing David's new South African haunts, his house, and meeting his friends. Over the next couple of days we are taking a tour of the nearby winelands, visiting the city's best beaches, and venturing out to Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for many years.

I just booked the next big chapter of my "Africa quest" - a 3-week overland camping tour through Namibia, Botswana, and Zambia, embarking from Capetown on Sunday the 27th and ending in Victoria Falls on May 16th. I met a girl from San Francisco at one of my hostels on the Garden Route, and she happens to be going on my same trip, so I am excited to have a friend in the group.

I still have more than a week in Capetown though, and I plan on making the most of it!

More soon...

Recent updates

2008-04-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

Being back on the coast of South Africa has been great, things seem to be getting progressively more civilized the closer I get to Capetown. Coffee Bay was definitely the highlight, with cheap and delicious meals, free surf lessons every morning, and all kinds of fun hikes, tours, people, and parties. From there I stopped in Cintsa, known for Buccaneers' Backpackers, considered the best in South Africa. Although it is mid-autumn here and bordering on the off-season for tourism, I enjoyed the low-key scene in Cintsa, bought some beaded jewelry from the local ladies (lovingly referred to as the "mama's"), hung out on the beach, and got a full body massage for about $15. Life is tough...
From there I moved west into SA's popular tourist scene, the Garden Route. I started at a place called Plettenberg Bay, where I hitched a ride with a Dutch couple to "Monkeyland" - think Sea World for monkeys with no cages. I left Plett early because it was pretty boring compared to the places I have been, and moved on to the next stop on the Garden Route, Knysna, where I am writing from now.
Yesterday i went to the Knysna Elephant Sanctuary and paid about 30 dollars to stand around taking pictures with elephants, but I'm not complaining because I got some amazing pictures. Today i went on a ferry to a nature reserve called Featherbed where we took a jeep ride up to the top then hiked 2.5 kms down then took the ferry back. it was fun except the other tour-goers were a 30 person 8th grade class from London and a bunch of toddlers. Things are getting pretty touristy here.
Surprisingly, this has also been one of the loneliest stretches of my trip thus far. My past two hostels have been completely empty, as in, I have a 12 person dorm entirely to myself. So i have been doing these tours alone, which is fine, but definitely kind of an ironic change considering that the most civilized place I've been has proven one of the most difficult to make friends.
I'm not too worried about it... i'll be in capetown in three days. I'm ready for it!

Pictures

2008-04-11T04:05:00.001-07:00

Africa Album #1 is up (my first week in Africa)! Check it out at:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2150039&l=644fc&id=616632

Africa Album #2: Mozambique
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2150041&l=75411&id=616632

Coffee Bay

2008-04-06T07:36:00.000-07:00

Wow,
Almost a full week without internet access... I almost couldn't take it. The African internet cafe lady just called me a computer nerd, and I think she may be right.
I finished my pony trek in Lesotho yesterday and it was incredible. Lesotho is gorgeous and the people are really nice. I opted for a 3-day, 2-night trek, we went all though a green mountain valley and swam in a waterfall. It was also one of my first opportunities to get a glimpse into rural (traditional) African life. I took a bunch of photos of the local children at the tribal village where I slept, and the concept of being able to see their own image on the camera completely confounded them. Besides never having seen a camera, few of these kids have even seen their own reflection in the mirror. I have been told many times that it is important not to give the kids money or candy, instead donate to a local charity or give them fruit, or something else that won't rot their teeth. I gave them pieces of bread with peanut butter, which made me feel like a very culturally responsible tourist.
I got a ride back to the capital of Lesotho with a 12-person Australian missionary group, then bought a traditional Basotho blanket on my way out the border, where the cab driver walked me all the way to the border and helped me find a ride to Bloemfontein. The woman was a South African nurse, trying to save money on petrol. Interesting enough, until she almost falls asleep at the wheel and decides she needs to take a 30 minute nap on the side of the road before continuing on. This was a fairly awkward (not to mention potentially dangerous) situation, but luckily we made it to the bus station just fine.
So last night I was at the bus station from for 5 hours waiting for the overnight bus from Bloemfontein to East London, a couple of people were harassing me so a German lady let me sleep in her dried fruit store. I bought a ton of it, thrilled that dried fruit is my perfect loophole in the rules of giving responsibly to the local kids.
I slept like a baby on the overnight bus thanks to my new Basotho blanket. When we arrived in East London, the driver took the entire Greyhound to the minibus taxi stand so I wouldn't walk across town alone at 7:30 in the morning. I guess that's when it really hit me, this place is not safe. Just the reactions of the locals on the bus made me realize that, although this seems in many ways like a first world country, the crime rate is incredibly high here - and I make a obvious target.
Anyways, after almost 24 hours of travel, I have arrived safely at my hostel in Coffee Bay, South Africa, and I got a free beer when I checked in so things are looking pretty good. This place even has internet, laundry service, and hot showers! I am living large.
Also- I have a South African cell with international texting so leave your number if you want some random, middle-of-the-night shoutouts...

Ruminations

2008-04-01T01:45:00.000-07:00

Lucky me, I made it to the internet cafe two days in a row. Unfortunately the only reason I am here today is because things didn't work out with my SCUBA course so I will leave Vilanculos without doing any diving or completing my Open Water certification, which is a shame. Anyways, I have been meeting so many people from Africa, Europe, and the rest of the world and it has really opened up my eyes to a lot of interesting things.

First of all, it is incredible how much the world is following our presidential election. When people find out I am American, its the first thing they want to talk about. In particular, every international voice I have heard on my travels thus far desperately wants Obama to be our next president. It is interesting that although we consider him to have less international experience than Hillary, internationally, everyone seems to feel that having a black president would significantly change the way that America is seen by the world.

Secondly, EVERYBODY, and I mean everybody, has Facebook. It is seriously incredible. It entirely changes the nature of backpacking. I guess I never realized that Facebook had become such an international phenomenonon. Instead of exchanging emails, all you need is the person's name. I have rounded out my network of Facebook friends with everyone from South Africans to Brits to Israelis since I arrived. Its pretty scary to think that facebook is becoming a worldwide rolodex. New communications technology is completely revolutionizing the world, I tell you.

So enough on that. Tomorrow I am hopping a flight back to Joburg then a bus to Maseru, the capital of Lesotho, then another bus to Malealea, where I will takoe a pony trek through the country side for 3-4 day, staying overnight in tribal villages. It supposed to be unbelievable and I am happy to have the flexible itinerary to accomodate the change. I probably wont be posting for a bit, but when I do I'm sure I will have lots to relay.

Vilanculos

2008-03-31T00:24:00.000-07:00

Here I am in Vilanculos, so far so good. I just saw my brother off at the airport because his spring break is over and he has to get back to classes in Capetown. I however, am on life vacation so the journey continues. Yesterday we went on a dhow (read "dinghy") trip out to the beautiful Bazaruto Islands, where we had a delicious lunch, found some incredible shells, and did some snorkeling. Today I am on my own again, just trying to figure out some logistics, then I will head off to the market to buy some bananas, avocados, and bread to hold me over for the next few days. I am changing my itinerary around, since the consensus is that Lesotho beats out Swaziland as the better Southern Africa nugget country. More soon....

Beach Bummin in Tofo

2008-03-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Hi again,
I am sitting in an "internet cafe" in Praia de Tofo, Mozambique. It is about 100 degrees in here and I've already used up nearly a half hour just waiting for this page to load. I have a painting rolled up next to me that I just bought from the artist at the craft market on the beach. Mozambique has been amazing - so beautiful and relaxing. After I last wrote, my brother and I went to the fish market in Maputo, excited about getting some fresh tiger prawns grilled up for us. We ended up "splurging" on 2 kilos (4.4 lbs) of tiger prawns for about 200 rand, or 25 dollars. We were waiting more than an hour and starving by the time the plate of grilled prawns arrived. But the prawns were no bigger than my pinky finger. We tried to tell the lady that she had made a mistake, that these were not our prawns. Unfortunately, we soon found out that the lady at the fish market had taken us for a complete ride and scooped out 2 kgs of her smallest, shittiest prawns because we were unsuspecting white tourists. We were very let down but last night we got out justice when we tried it a second time at the local market here in Tofo and made sure to pick out each prawn one by one. This time we got 1 kg for 8 dollars and feasted like royalty. The seafood here is unbelievable, as are the fresh fruits and vegetables, art, and curios.
I am on Day 2 of my SCUBA course and the diving here is awesome. Yesterday we did our intro lessons in the bottom of a pool and took a dive to a nearby reef. Today I had to watch a bunch of DVDs about dive "philosophy" and tomorrow I have a quiz and two more dives, then David and I are catching the boat Northbound to the remote and beautiful Vilanculos (Bazarutos Archipelago) . I will be heading into Swaziland in about a week to see what that little nugget of a country is all about.

Stay tuned.

Hi from Africa

2008-03-24T01:04:00.000-07:00

Hello! I am writing from an internet cafe in Maputo, the capital of Mozambique. Today marks exactly 1 week since I arrived in Africa and I can fairly say that things have been crazy - and amazing. My first attempt to take the African busliner from Joburg to Nelspruit ended up in a 2 hour delay and a 3 hour breakdown on the side of the road, in total my trip took 9.5 hours rather than the expected 4.5. Frustrating as it was, it gave me the opportunity to meet a bunch of locals. I have expected people to treat me negatively because I am an american, but on the contrary, people are really excited to see me and everyone wants to talk to me. When the bus broke down and people found out I was an American, it was like I was a celebrity.
Anyways, once I actually got to Nelspruit, things were amazing. After much stress, everything worked out: I met a Harvard medical student doing research here who was traveling for the weekend and the two of us went up on a tour of the Blyde River Canyon. He dropped me off in Graskop, where I met a group of awesome Portuguese kids and together we went hiking then we took the bus back to Maputo, where they are working, and where I am meeting my brother. The bus driver threatened to leave me behind at the border of Mozambique because I didnt have my visa, so my new portuguese friends and I sprinted through the visa office and thanks to their language skills, I made it back on the bus in time. That was a crazy adventure.
So I arrived in Maputo last night, David and I met up at the hostel and partied with some awesome South Africans. Tomorrow we are going to Tofo where I will begin my SCUBA course.
That's all for now. Bye!

Backpacking in Africa

2008-03-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
This post marks the closing of the current chapter of the quest and the dawning of a new one. On Friday March 14, 5 days from now, I will be taking the GMAT, for which I have been studying since January. Then, on Monday the 17th, two days after my exam, I will be departing for Africa to commence a period of travel that will (tentatively) last through the beginning of June.
Those of you who have been with me since the beginning will know that travel was always a big part of what I wanted to do during this vision quest. But, you may ask, why Africa? The short answer is that it just kind of happened that way. My brother is studying abroad for the semester in Capetown, and my parents offered to pay for my flight down there to visit him. And its a hell of a lot cheaper and less exploited than Europe. Now that I've done my homework, however, there's nowhere else I would rather go. Southern Africa is teeming with incredible sites and natural wonders. I am so unbelievably excited.
To give you a rough outline of my route: I am flying into Johannesburg (19 hours, straight from DC...), then after sleeping off my jetlag, I am meeting my brother in Maputo, the capital of Mozambique, where we will spend a week traveling together over his spring break. After ending its nearly century-long civil war about a decade ago, Mozambique has become one of the most sought-after travel destinations for its pristine beaches and world-class SCUBA diving. While I am there, I plan to get my SCUBA certification so I can take full advantage of it! From there, I will travel west around the cape of Africa before arriving back in Capetown, where I will meet back up with my brother. The second leg of the trip involves traveling north from Capetown into the deserts of Namibia, east along the northern coast of Botswana (to see the amazing Okavango Delta), then to Victoria Falls, Lake Malawi, and finally, Zanzibar.
Pretty unbelievable, right?
Should make for some pretty good reading, so I hope you will all follow along.

Pray for my safe travels!

Saxie Site

2008-02-05T22:08:00.001-08:00

The new Saxie Beach website is up. Check it out!

www.saxiebeach.com

I had a dream...

2008-01-03T17:07:00.000-08:00

That I was at a political party meeting and I was speaking out against the leader. On my way out, I passed through a metal detector like the kind they have at the airport. I made it through and was walking away when the security guard came over to me and told me that when I passed through the metal detector, it had detected abnormal brain cells that most likely meant that I had a brain tumor. I wondered if this was a tactic that the party was using to sabotage me for speaking out at the meeting. I went home and told my family what had happened, and that I should probably get a CAT scan to make sure everything was okay. My dad urged me to go in for surgery instead, telling me that the CAT scan machine is really scary and its easier just to do the surgery. They even told me my cousin would go in with me so I wouldn't be nervous. So I went in for surgery to check out my brain, and when I woke up, I realized that the party and my family had tricked me into getting a lobotomy so I would no longer speak out against the system....

2008-01-03T11:18:00.000-08:00

Hello! So I know its been a while (1.5 months) since my last post, but I'm back with a vengeance. I have so much to update on and I promise that after this entry, my posts will be much shorter and more frequent. Life has been a roller coaster ride but things are finally falling into place. Let me start from the beginning:

I moved back to Seattle the week before Thanksgiving. There were a few reasons for my decision, including my general distaste for LA, but primarily my motives were financial. Attempting to start a new business while paying over $2000 per month for rent and gas quickly became more than my bank account could bear. As much as I felt an outward stigma of moving back home with my parents, the truth of the matter is - I love it. Lame, I know, but true. Pillow top mattress, souped-up cable package, and, best of all, practically zero expenses. And my parents, of course. They are cool. And the snow on the mountains around Seattle makes for some killer skiing.

Since I moved back I have started studying for the GMAT in (distant) preparation for applying to business school. If my recent endeavors in entrepreneurialism have taught me anything, its how much I DON'T know. If I could, I would go to business school right away, but apparently its virtually impossible to be accepted to any of the top programs without at least 3 years of real world work experience. Fair enough.

In the meantime, I have been working at a swanky restaurant, bar & lounge called Twist, down in Seattle's Belltown area, near the Pike Place Market. It has been a great way for me to meet new people while also making a nice sum of extra cash! Because my expenses living at home have been so low, nearly everything that I make goes toward Saxie Beach or (god willing) to some traveling a couple of months down the road.

Most importantly, I have not given up on Saxie Beach! It has definitely been a challenge to keep things going in LA while I am up here in Seattle, but things are coming together slowly but surely. My website is in the works, and a 24-piece sample collection of the entire Spring/Summer 2008 line is being sewn in Los Angeles. With some luck, I should have a professional photoshoot with all of the new pieces completed by the end of January. I have also been talking to a couple of different showrooms in LA and New York about picking up my line. Very exciting!

I realized while in LA that when I am working on my bikini company as a complement to other things going on in my life, it is refreshing, invigorating, and fun. When I was in LA it was my entire life - I lived it and breathed it so intensely that I could hardly separate the business from myself. Being back in Seattle has helped me find a better balance and a more detached perspective on whatever happens with it.

So this has been the past month and a half in a very very abbreviated nutshell. More updates to come!

Negligence

2007-11-16T21:39:00.000-08:00

I have been a very negligent blogger. My apologies - I will be updating soon!

2007-10-30T20:16:00.000-07:00

My space at LA Market Week
*complete with chocolate-covered strawberries

LA Life

2007-10-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
Sorry its been so long since my last post! Things have been beyond hectic since I moved to LA.
Let me begin by saying that I am writing this from Mode Studio, a showroom in the Fashion Mart in Los Angeles, where my line is currently on display for LA Market Week, Oct 26 - 30. When I first arrived here in LA, I was told that Market Week was the best way to get my collection in front of buyers. So I ran around getting extra samples made in different colors, looking for a showroom, preparing a set and all of my publicity materials. I was excited when I found out that Mode Studio, a showroom in the most "high-end" fashion building, had space to rent for Market Week. They are the only showroom that specializes in swimwear, carrying such big names as Vitamin A, Anika Brazil, and Salinas. Unfortunately, my name doesnt generate enough clout for them to consider picking me up full time, but it is a great opportunity nonetheless.
Let me rewind briefly to the beginning of this week, when I first began constructing my "set" for the show. With the help of T-Man, my Jewish ex-death-metal-rocker-turned-ebay-powerseller neighbor, I was able to construct a beautiful backdrop of light green vintage doors from the 1920s to showcase my samples. I was originally told by the showroom owner that my space would be 5.5 ft against the wall by 7.5 feet sticking out into the showroom. Then, after more than 48 hours of manual labor, sweat, and tears, we lug the set into the showroom only to the appalled glances of the sales girls who were used to seeing nothing but pink velvet furniture in their precious showroom. I felt like I was transported back to middle school, feeling so self-conscious and left out by the girls who didnt like what I had spent to long putting together. Things ultimately worked themselves out, and my set is a toned-down version of the original and, in my opinion, it looks great (pictures to come!)
Only problem is that, for reasons semi-unknown (undoubtedly influenced by the SoCal fires), Market week has been completely dead. Less than only 5-10 people are entering the showroom each day. So far I have a couple of leads but no commitments.

After this, there will be an OC/San Diego road trip to try to get my suits in front of other buyers in person. I have an "assistant" now, named Jenna, a grad student at UC Long Beach who is interested in getting into the fashion industry. She is amazing and we make a great team! Nick comes on Halloween day, the morning after the last day of Market, and I cannot believe how excited I am to see him. It has been two months! his visit will be a much-needed distraction from all of these superficial stresses of the fashion world.

I force myself to realize that, although it has differed from the original plan, this is still every bit as much of the vision quest as an ashram in india or a hammam in Morocco. I am jumping into the mix and its all I can do to keep swimming. Everyone said that fashion was a tough industry, but why did I think it didnt apply to me? Like the freshman 15, these types of stereotypes have much more truth to them than anyone cares to believe. I am motivated by stories of the current top-selling lines modest beginnings, and I know that any type of success in fashion as elsewhere must come with incredible dedication and perseverance. I wish I could take a step back from this and realize, as I speed down my street to print out color line sheets in time to arrive at the showroom when it opens at 8:45, that this is all part of the adventure - that I am living the life I had imagined for myself, and that I should just enjoy it!

This has been an incredible roller coaster ride, and I am coming down with a cold and bummed by low traffic and zero sales thus far in Market week. And I figured this would be as good an outlet as any to vent my frustrations! But please know that there is another side to the story. There have been incredible highs, potential magazine shoots, and even talks of celebrity boutiques.

I love you all and can't believe how much I miss you. Please email me with updates on your lives. I can't wait to hear from you!

Deja Vu?

2007-10-07T12:57:00.001-07:00

I am moving to Los Angeles tonight. Ahhh!

Morocco Pics

2007-09-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

Ancient Portuguese fortress in El Jadida

Moroccan chic

Traditional Ramadan breakfast

Henna

Me with 2-year old Moulay Driss!

Important Poll

2007-09-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

Is the itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie yellow polka dot bikini:
a) white with yellow polka dots? OR
b) yellow with white polka dots?

These are the quagmires of my new life. Please vote for your choice!

Update from Morocco

2007-09-19T05:29:00.000-07:00

As I sit here writing this on the morning of my 9th day in Morocco, things have already turned out differently than expected. Great, but different. I'm not totally sure what I was looking for when I originally set out to come here, besides the desire to realize a dream I had held in my heart since the Fulbright days of yore. I pictured myself spending a month in Marrakech, living with the family of my father's business acquaintence, fasting for Ramadan, visiting hammams, and immersing myself in the culture. And the reality of the situation, now that I am in it? I am bored. Unfulfilled. And hungry.

Don't get me wrong, I am having a blast. I sleep in until noon every day to give myself less waking hours of fasting time, walk through the medina buying artisan jewelry, scarves, and dates; I help make traditional Moroccan cuisine with a kitchen full of women, and I read - a lot. When I can, I have been shopping for textiles for Saxie. In the evenings, we eat our "break fast" meal around 6;45, watch a movie; then go to the hammam or to a cafe to sit drinking coffee or Moroccan mint tea and smoke hookah. Then we come back around 1am in time to help prepare for our "dinner" meal at 2am. Then, to bed around 3;30, sleep until noon, and do the whole thing again. In truth, this is probably the exact bohemian Moroccan life that I had envisioned. But what I had not anticipated was feeling to devoid of purpose, so unfulfilled.

All I can think about is Saxie. Maybe it was getting picked as a finalist in Collection 1.0, but its all I can think about and all I want to do. And if I really, truly want to make it happen - to produce bikinis to be sold for the 2008 season, then I am piddling away precious time ambling around the medina buying dates. Trying to orchestrate things from another country is an obstacle I dont think I can work around. Besides the sheer craziness of the family I am living with (I will spare the details because I truly feel bad about speaking poorly to all of you about the family that has, overall, been so generous, hospitabe and kind to me), the time change, lifestyle, and communication issues are serious hindrances. I have surprised myself with the degree to which my priorities have shifted even in the mere months since I booked my flight to come here.

Which is why I have decided to come home early from Morocco. My flight departs next Monday, September 24th, 15 days after I arrived here. And I will leave with a suitcase stuffed full of fabric samples, scarves, and silver jewelry, hands and feet covered in henna, with fond memories of what has, in all honesty, been more like a Moroccan vacation than a vision quest; secretly relieved at the prospect of finally eating during daylight hours again.

Most of all, I will leave with a reinvigorated determination to make Saxie Bikinis a reality in the world.

hamdullah! thank god

I AM A FINALIST!!!!!

2007-09-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone; I am in Morocco attempting to type on a french keyboqrd; I just looked online and saw that i was selected as a FINALIST in Collection 1.0!!!! check it out: http://www.blaec.com/collection1.0-finalists.shtml

very exciting!

Goodbye, America

2007-09-08T16:15:00.001-07:00

I am leaving for Morocco tomorrow. Ahhh!

The Deadly Syndrome

2007-09-03T11:30:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Nick's brother's band, The Deadly Syndrome, will be releasing their debut album, The Ortolan, on September 11th. We saw them in July when they came to Santa Barbara to play a show, and - all biases aside - they are truly incredible! The LA Times called their album "unbridled euphoria." You can listen to their music on their MySpace page.

The Deadly Syndrome: can you guess which one is Nick's brother?

Wine Tasting in Napa!

2007-09-02T23:55:00.001-07:00

Nick and I stopped in Napa on our drive from Santa Barbara back to Seattle and visited a bunch of great wineries for tours and tastings. It was incredible! What a perfect way to end our summer in California.

Vision Quest Reading List: Phase 1

2007-09-02T09:55:00.001-07:00

I have been doing a lot of reading thus far on "the quest," and not surprisingly, the books I have read seem to reflect a lot about my frame of mind during each phase of the quest. That being said, here are the books that I read while in Santa Barbara:

Photo Shoot Pics

2007-08-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

FInal Days in Santa Barbara

2007-08-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

As I sit here writing this, I have only three nights left in Santa Barbara. Its strange looking back on how time has flown, but also how my purpose here has constantly evolved. The most prominent evolution has been the transition of my obsession from my "Moroccan vision quest" to Saxie bikinis. I set out with the goal of just producing a prototype to make sure my idea became a reality in the world. But what I have found is something that thrills me, excites me, forces me to tap into all of my capacities and beyond - I have been thrown into the midst of an industry I know nothing about, and I am quickly and necessarily learning to swim (or just to stay afloat).
I have been so caught up with everything that I feel like I just picked my head up a couple of days ago and realized how quickly this idyllic reality was coming to a close. I had been working so much that I never really got to see many of the touristy places that Santa Barbara is known for, and I have been trying so hard to save money that I barely dabbled in the town's specialty "wine country" cuisine. But I am happy, almost euphoric in the dizzying haze of everything going on lately - and my only goal is to finish what I started with these bikinis in the T-72 hours left here.
Let me backtrack a little bit and fill you in on everything that has happened with Saxie since I last posted. Mere hours after I posted the last entries with photos of the prototypes, I went into work at Madison's to check my schedule, and since I had the pieces on me and was so excited about them, I decided to show them to my boss. Until this point, Nick and my seamstress, Cindy, had been my only sounding posts and I was excited to get a fashionable female's opinion. Diane, my boss, was completely blown away when she saw them and offered to be my financial backer!! I felt like things were really starting to happen with this...

Then, last Wednesday, I drove 2 hours to Los Angeles to take my bikinis to a manufacturer and start production. With a bag full of fabric, a page of hand-scribbled directions, and my six prototype pieces, I navigated myself through the ghetto of South central LA to the warehouses on which the future of my bikinis relied. I was so nervous that i was almost on the verge of panic - my palms were sweaty and I felt a knot in my stomach as I pulled up at a stop light and saw a Mexican guy staring at me from the next car. And it hit me - so instantaneously and with such force that I had to laugh out loud: the vision quest has officially begun. I looked in the mirror and said to myself: "get used to this, baby, its only getting worse from here." And at that moment my reality suddenly changed, I was empowered by my own courage and reveled in the discomfort of being outside my comfort zone, rather than resisting it. So there it is, THE VISION QUEST HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN!
Long story short, my first trip to LA was a major reality check, and taught me how little I know about this industry and how much more this whole thing is going to cost than I ever anticipated (thus making my boss' offer look much more appealing). I had anticipated getting a whole range of samples made in all different colors - but no - it doesn't work like that - $500 later I had myself one set of samples, the same six pieces shown below, but this time they are officially MINE. Made from my own patterns, with fabric that I've selected, and it feels good.

So I've been waiting all week to go back and pick up the samples, and yesterday I finally did. They look great - but they are definitely samples. Things need to be tweaked with the patterns, the fabrics, etc. But at least I know that now so I know how to improve. And most importantly, they are good enough to submit to the contest.

With my impending departure, I knew I needed to tell Diane that I would be leaving. This was complicated by the facts that I held off until the last minute, giving only 1 week of notice, and even more by the fact that she had just offered to invest in my fledgling bikini collection. So I called her nervously, prepared for the worst, and her response was.... "well I completely understand... but, can I still invest in your bikinis? I really think it is a great investment opportunity completely apart from who you are to me as an employee." I was shocked and surprised.... I had originally been pretty skeptical of her offer, but she is damn serious. And things are looking damn expensive. She called me today and her message began "What's going on Saxie girl?!". Talk about a parallel universe. But I digress.....

My life lately has been insane: I spend all of my free time on bikinis, putting together line sheets, collection descriptions, and other promotional materials. On Monday and Tuesday I tried to balance this with work, waiting tables in section 2 after breaking the news of my departure to Diane. On Tuesday, I had the second best night I have ever had as a waitress, making $240 with very little effort and meeting a professional photographer who, after a conversation about "manifesting our destinies" (and a few beers) offered to shoot my bikinis at his friend's multi-million dollar mansion this Saturday.

"Lookbook photos" aka a model wearing your designs, are part of the submission packet for the contest, and I had intended to have a photography student shoot one of my pretty coworkers. But Chris the photographer was shady and unresponsive, and Erin my model just got back from Costa Rica and says she feels too fat to model bikinis.

Anyways, things took a turn for the better when Erin introduced me to her roommate, Sarah, who is beautiful and unbelievably photogenic, not to mention that she fits perfectly into the samples. Hooray!

Tomorrow I am meeting up with Tony at the mansion to scout out "shots" for the photoshoot, which will be on Saturday evening. Sarah is perfect and even said that she would prefer to do her own hair and makeup because she knows exactly how to make herself look like the perfect "beach babe." I will try to post pics from the shoot on Sunday as soon as I get them!

It also turns out that my dad's business partner's wife used to be a bikini buyer and is good friends with the Brazilian designer behind boutique line So de Mel.
We went out for a glass of wine tonight and they looked over my designs and gave me advice. Life is hard!

So things with Saxie Bikinis are picking up a lot of momentum and I feel like I am going through finals week, scrambling to put together all the loose odds and ends of my submission materials before I turn into a pumpkin (ie leave town for good) first thing on Monday morning.

My head is spinning with thoughts about the coming months - something about the end of my time in Santa Barbara signals that I am really, truly not going back to college. That this is my "real" life, whatever that means. And although it is sad, it is equally exciting, almost like an endless summer. I am torn about the Vision Quest because the whole premise of it was that I was going to travel around the world to "find myself." And here I am, frightened but totally excited by the future of Saxie bikinis. All I know is that working on them makes me so HAPPY. And I can't help but think that that IS finding yourself, in a way. But I know that if I go back on my plans to go to Morocco (cancel my flights?!) then I will always regret it and I may get so wrapped up in whatever I do instead that I never take the time to do it. So, the only thing I can do is try to do both. Don't ask me how I plan on achieving this, but all I know is that I am not canceling my flights to Morocco and I am not giving up on Saxie.

This may be my only post for the next week or so because after my whirlwind exit from SB, Nick and I are road-tripping back up to Seattle, taking a two-night stop in Napa for some quality time before I depart for Morocco on the 9th.

Woe is me! When will I even find time to pack?!

2007-08-01T00:10:00.001-07:00

Searching for balance

2007-07-31T13:32:00.000-07:00

It feels like everything and nothing has happened since my last post. I have been working my ass off at Madison's. Walking away from a night shift behind the bar with $220 in cash is an awesome feeling, and I am living every day with a sense of purpose to save up $5,000 before I depart for Morocco on September 9th (yes, the flight has officially been purchased!). On the flipside, though, my growing preoccupation with work has had side effects on other areas of my life. Most of all, I have found myself becoming increasingly cheap and greedy. I am so aware of how every moment of my life translates into monetary terms that I rarely even indulge on something as minor as a $4 smoothie. As you can imagine, this is also taking its toll on Nick, who has to put up with it most, on top of the fact that I am rarely ever home to spend any QT with him - our schedules are virtually opposite. Indeed, my greed was such that I even considered pushing back the date of my departure for Morocco to stay in SB and earn more money. When each night carries a price tag of $200+, its hard to convince yourself to do anything but work.
Last night, after not working out for almost a week (too cheap to pay for a gym membership), I went to a somewhat difficult yoga class. I surprised myself with my flexibility, but was reminded of a problem that has always plagued me - I have very bad balance. And I wondered if it wasn't a metaphor for my life as a whole. I am very happy; so blessed and lucky in life as much as I like to complain. But I always let the problem/situation/topic at hand dominate my perspective and keep me from being properly attentive to the other aspects of my life.
Working at Madison's every day has kept my attention fixed on making as much money as possible to get me going on my journey. But to allow that focus to let me forsake everything else in my life is surely not the proper M.O. for happiness.
I have often asked myself what it is that I am seeking, what it is that I hope to find on my Vision Quest. And I think that all of this experience has showed me that certainly, at the top of that list, my Vision Quest should be an attempt to figure out how to find balance - and to actively live that balance every day.

Money in the Bank

2007-07-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last posted, and for good reason... I have been working 6 days a week, and 7 days of the coming week. After two weeks of training - two weeks of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, cutting limes and lemons until my fingers stung, and riding my bike home with an oversized helmet falling over my eyes as I cried, frustrated, at making $42 in tips after 8 hours of manual labor, things are finally starting to pay off... literally.
Last week was my first week as a real employee, sans training, and I was both excited and nervous to be scheduled not only as a bartender on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (aka the three busiest) nights, but also as a lead server. I spent all day Thursday preparing for my first big night behind the bar by doing what I do best - camping out at Starbucks studying flashcards. Flashcards of different drink recipes, prices, happy hour specials. I guess I will always be a student at heart.
Thursday night, things went incredibly well. I really held my own, and I know my superiors noticed. The hours of 9-2 were a blackout adrenaline rush, filled with excitement of making drinks as fast as I could, stuffing money into my tip jar, dancing around, and just having an all around awesome time. It was clear to me that the night shift is clearly the way to go.
Last week I was 4th bartender on (ie the last one on, comes on at 9, because from 5-9 they dont need as many bartenders). This week, I am 3rd on, which means I have ascended the ranks already, in addition to being given some of the best money-making serving shifts.
I just finished counting all my money in anticipation for my weekly trip to the bank and am thrilled to report that my savings account will now be $1320 larger than last week.
All of this money makes me all the more excited for the things it will enable me to do on my Vision Quest. I am getting close to booking my flight in Morocco, and I am starting to itch for the exotic adventures to come.

Work, Work, Work

2007-07-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

First things first - I got a bartending job!!! 2 of them, to be exact. The first is at the Montecito Country Club. The second is at a popular spot called Madison's Grill & Tavern right in the heart of downtown Santa Barbara. As you can imagine, I was very excited.
I first started training the week before last at MCC. It is very upscale but overall pretty slow, with the exception of the special events banquets from time to time. I really liked the members and my coworkers. One, a 50 year-old named Roberto, spends hours sharing pearls of wisdom from his life and admittedly has a soft spot for tequila. The other, a girl named London in her mid-twenties, is an unbelievable singer comparable to Janis Joplin but smoother. Nick and I went to hear her sing on the 4th and we were absolutely blown away.
My training at Madison's started last Monday. They pride themselves on being a "cross-trained" staff, meaning that I had to learn how to be a food runner and a waitress. Madison's isn't upscale by any means, but it is nearly always PACKED with people. All drinks are made in schooners with twice the alcohol, there are peanut shells all over the floor, people dancing, eating, and watching sports - never a dull moment. Everyone tells me I stand to make a TON of money there, especially on weekends, when the place goes off as a nightclub. Unfortunately, this past week was not quite that glamorous. Having never waitressed before, it was quite a challenge to be thrown in the mix and to have to learn on the fly how to somehow keep my head above water. I waitressed Mon - Thurs (yes - 4th of July included), for at least 8 hours each day. It was grueling and incredibly exhausting - on top of the fact that as a trainee I wasn't making any tips - but with each passing day I became more accustomed to the work and the hours. The past two days I have spent 6 hours each evening running food out to the tables, which was a nice break from serving, and gave me a chance to get to know my coworkers better.
One man told me that he calls Madison's "Coyote Ugly" because it is known for only hiring pretty girls. The staff is about 80% girls. The people are cool and really nice, but because of the fast-paced environment, everyone seems to be scrambling to hold up their share of work instead of socializing with one another.
Today is my second day off in about 12 days - I am recuperating and preparing myself for another crazy run beginning tomorrow. I have been incredibly antsy to get behind the bar and am looking forward to starting my bar training at Madison's this week. It will probably be at least another week until I get scheduled for any legitimate bar shifts, but I understand that I have to prove myself. In the meantime, I am working about one shift a week at MCC, which is pretty much all I can handle on top of the workload at Madison's.

Work aside, Nick and I have been having some great times. We just celebrated our 2-year anniversary last week with a picnic at the beach and a seafood dinner on the Santa Barbara wharf. I had to work until 4:30 on the 4th, but after I got off, Nick and I went to a great house party given by the two main chefs at one of Santa Barbara's most famous restaurants, Bouchon. There was abalone and venison on the grill, gourmet dips and salads, the works. Afterwards, we rolled ourselves down to the beach to see the fireworks, following the sun to find the water and coming out to find that we were amidst hundreds of Mexican families ready for the show. The fireworks were amazing - I was really impressed that a town as small as Santa Barbara could put on such a show.

That's all for now...

Solstice Recap, Coincidence, and Other Ruminations

2007-06-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

Saturday's Summer Solstice parade was a total riot and shed an entirely new light on what Santa Barbara's all about. The hippies came out of the hills, quite literally, donning their most creative interpretations of this year's theme, "stars." There was Whirlin Merlin, Mr. & Mrs. Big Head, Capoiera dance-fighters (see photos), and an overdose of glitter, hula hoops, stilts, and roller skates. One man, dressed in a wizard costume in stilts, stopped in front of us and, upon realizing that he was being watched by everyone, proceeded to make up a bizarre song "we are so luuuuckkkyyyyy, we are so blesssseeeedddddd." Nick and I were reeling with laughter.
The parade ended at local Alameda park where all the parade-goers and the kooky folks of the parade themselves gathered for an afternoon of celebrating summer. The top picture of the last post is of Nick and I enjoying some hippie tunes in the beer garden. Other highlights included: the world's best guacamole, organic peppermint and eucalyptus soap, "synergy jewelry," and an all-out hula hooping party that lasted the full 4 hours we were there. We had a blast and loved the total eccentricity of the Santa Barbara scene, but we couldn't help thinking it would be better if we had some friends... We contemplated how a couple can go out and try to "pick up" friends at a bar but concluded that all options were excessively awkward.

Later that evening, as I sat on the deck reading Deepak Chopras new-age cult favorite, "The Book of Secrets," I overheard some chatter on our neighbor's deck next door. This caught my attention for two reasons: first, they were speaking English; second, they sounded fairly young. After peering through the bushes, I determined that they in fact were probably only a couple years older than Nick and I. I proceeded to call out a greeting to them and blindly introduce myself. Nick and I went over for a beer and got friendly. Turns out the two had moved in only two days before us, a young married couple ages 27 and 29, who went to UC Boulder. Andrew grew up in Santa Barbara and the two had lived here for a couple of years before moving to San Fran, and they just moved back. They are incredibly nice and so knowledgeable about the town. I secretly cant wait to go on double dates with them.

While I was talking to Valerie out on her deck, I glanced inside where a box sat open on a table with some yet-to-be-unpacked belongings strewn around it. Lo-and-behold, I see that Valerie has the EXACT SAME TOWEL as me! What are the odds? My recent new-age reading has told me that all coincidences are signs of some deeper meaning. Then, later that night, as I was making dinner, listening to a good song called "Jerusalem," by Matisyahu, I turn over the bowl in my hand and lo-and-behold - it says JERUSALEM on it in capital letters. Two coincidences in one night... I decided that this means that Valerie and I will become very good friends (option b: I need to buy new towels), and I need to go to Jerusalem.
Having determined that there was major energy in the air, I put on another tight tank top and hit the Santa Barbara bars in the hopes that a bar owner would see me and miraculously offer me a job. That part was unsuccessful.

In other news, it turns out that in addition to all of the booze and food Lisa left behind for us, she also left an estimated $500 in brand new gourmet cooking supplies. This included a top-of-the-line Cuisinart food processor, 12-piece non-stick cookware set, and a gourmet pasta making set. In that spirit, Nick and I have been cooking up a storm - most recently seared ahi tuna pizzas with wasabi mayo, and chicken curry w/ cashews from scratch.

Other funny observations and experiences include:
- Tuesday afternoon farmer's market: organic fruits, veggies, flowers, and wheatgrass shots galore
- Hybrid Taxis
- My hippie yoga teacher wearing a Cartier watch
- Neighborhood skunk aka "Pepe"

More to come...

2007-06-27T10:17:00.001-07:00

A few pics of Nick and my journey down the coast... I have not yet mastered the art of adding photos to my blog, so I will post the rest up on facebook soon.

Santa Barbara

2007-06-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting on a lounge chair on my deck in Santa Barbara and I have to say.... life is good. Incredible, really. Nick and I departed from Seattle on Monday morning, made it as far as Eureka, CA on our first day of driving. Word to the wise: don't go there. We drove through the Redwood forest which was huge and powerful and completly indescribable, which made it worth the crazy meth-heads mumbling to themselves in the shadow of my car parked in the garage. Day 2 took us down another beautiful stretch of North California Rt.101 and into San Fran, where we spent the afternoon with Nick's good friend Eddie. Finally, at 6:30pm on day 3, after braving the coastal route 1 until we were blue in the face with carsickness, we made it to Santa Barbara. Incredible.
The owner of our house is a Law & Society professor at UCSB who decided to pick up and move to LA to help her boyfriend produce a low budget film while school was out for the summer. She cleaned the house but pretty much left us everything - including a fully stocked fridge and liquor cabinet and some ambien in her bedside drawer. Nice.
The house is in a residential neighborhood just west of downtown - known to most as a Mexican area. But I like Mexicans and the place is safe and quiet, not to mention being a 10 minute walk from the heart of downtown. It is so peaceful here, and the house is sick - for lack of a better word. We could not have asked for a better place. On a similar note, we have a guest house and enough couches to sleep at least 3 more people here comfortably, not counting nick and myself.
Santa Barbara is chill as can be and yesterday I saw a real live shaman walking around the organic supermarket barefoot with his flowing white robes and waist length silver beard. I love that shit.
The beach is incredibly beautiful, palm trees line our street, birds are chirping in the trees, and I am in love. Talk about paradise.

After giving myself a day to unpack and take it all in, today I put on a tight tank top and heels and braved the streets of downtown SB in search of a bartending job. Many of the places were closed, and of those I visited it was generally hit or miss. But mostly hit - so things are looking up.

Even better - it turns out this weekend is the "Summer Solstice Festival" here, the biggest party of the year. Tonight Nick and I are headed to a park for some live bands and drinking at a beer garden. Tomorrow, starting at noon, a ridiculous "bohemian" parade marches down State St (the main drag), and all of Santa Barbara comes out to see it. All the bars have crazy parties going on all day. I am like soooooo bohemian, LOL!

So I will hold out on specifics of which bars are looking promising because a) I dont want to jinx anything, and b) you dont care, but I will be writing shortly hopefully with news of a great new job and definitely with all the pics of the Santa Barbara leg of the vision quest thus far.

Will somebody please comment or send me a freakin email so I know there is at least one person reading this damn thing?!

Santa Barbara Digs

2007-06-10T14:20:00.001-07:00

Nick and I will be living here from June 21 through the end of August. Come visit us!

"To Travel is to Posess the World"

2007-06-01T17:39:00.000-07:00

"These words are, I think, true words. I know that through travel I have possessed the world more completely, more satisfyingly than if I had acquired the whole earth by purchase or by conquest. There is no implication of selfishness in the kind of possession of which I speak. Whoever posesses the world through travel takes naught from any man. No one is poorer because you have made the world yours.
You have gained everything, but you are no monopolist. The wealth is there for all to share. It is not yours alone. You may invite all men and women to travel with you in imagination and they too may feel that they, like you, are rich in vivid mental pictures of places worth going to, of people worth knowing, of things that are world-famous.... Now I am at work with nothing but a sheet of paper and a pen to help me re-create the atmosphere of "otherwhere," to help me make real to those who have not seen, the things which I have seen and can still see with my mind's eye.
Word pictures are hard to paint. We are told that "words are the only thing that last forever." Therefore words should be the most durable pigments with which to paint pictures of the things that have seemed worthwhile, the things that have become one's property, in the sense in which travel endows one with a title deed to the entire world.
One great advantage of possessing the world through travel is that one may enjoy all the satisfactions of possession without the responsibilities of ownership. Now, in days when our most valuable assets become or threaten to become our most crushing liabilities, it is good to contemplate property which cannot depreciate but must increase in value, property which cannot be taxed by federal goverment, or state or city authorities, property which calls for no repairs or alterations.
Everything from real estate to diamond tiaras has had its vaunted worth reduced to pitiful and sometimes complete inconsequence. Stocks, bonds, and all manner of gilt-edged, beautifully engraved certificates of value, to secure which we have slaved and saved and denied ourselves the joys of travel, may sink in worth to such a point that it will seem absurd to pay the rental charges of a safe deposit box.
The only things I own which are still worth what they have cost me are my travel memories, the mind-pictures of places which I have been hoarding like a happy miser for more than a half century.
In the past I have reproached myself for my extravagance, for my lack of foresight, for my disregard of proper provision for the future. My wise friends saved and economized, went without things they wanted, denied themselves the costlier pleasures of the table, the bouquet of vintage wines, and the, to me, supreme joy of going places and seeing things.
And now, where are we? We, they, and I are all at the same dead-end of life's highway. They are weighted down by all the leaden burdens of their golden hopes gone wrong. They have their memories but these are memories of wise, dull, and frugal days of piling up hard-earned dollars in safe places where those dollars would increase and multiply and be there to console for all the pleasures that their owners had denied themselves and all the fun they had missed.
I, too, have nothing but my memories but I would not exchange my memories for theirs. I have a secret treasure upon which I can draw at will. I can bring forth, on the darkest day, bright diamonds of remembered joys, diamonds whose many facets reflect some happy dream come true, a small ambition gratified, a long-sought sensation, caught and savored to the full, a little journey made, an expedition carried to success, several circumnavigations of the globe accomplished.
Yes, it has been a good life. And it is good to rest, with nearly all of one's dreams realized. Dreams of going, seeing and doing most of the things that seemed worthwhile -- good to know that I have, in my own way, possessed the world."
-Burton Holmes, Renowned Photographer and World Traveler, 1953

Introduction to the Quest

2007-05-31T17:51:00.000-07:00

Graduating from college has been one of the most intense experiences of my life. Of course, it is a happy occasion - marking all of the hard work and achievement of the past four years. But it is also sad to leave behind the antics and the friendships that comprised such an exciting era. Reflecting back on my life thus far and the experiences that have made me who I am today brings up both positive and negative emotions - but most of all it forces me to think more deeply about what it implies for my future. I have always identified myself virtually exclusively as a student - and why wouldn't I? - at age 22 I have been in some form of educational institution for the past 20 years of my life. Really - my mom put me into preschool when I was two years old.
Especially in the final months of senior year, I became more and more aware of how I had let the comfort of structure and routine lull me into auto-pilot. I was doing things without any deeper consideration of why I was doing them. I was completely uninspired by my classes, jaded about all of the privileges I once appreciated every day. I felt like I had lost touch with myself and with the things that truly thrilled and inspired me. I realized I had been living and evaluating my life on other people's terms, rather than my own. Somewhere along the way, I lost touch with my most valuable guide - my own intuition.
This time, my intuition was speaking up louder than ever. As everyone else's job search was in full swing, I just couldn't bring myself to fill out an application. I am confident that I could get as good a job as any - but just because I could doesn't necessarily mean I should. Especially after the past 8 years: 4 at an intensely competitive private college-prep high school (Lakeside), and 4 more at a similarly competitive Ivy League university (Penn), I don't know if I could feel more burnt out. Why would I spend any more time competing for a "prize" that I don't even want?
What is clear, then, is that I need to do a whole lot of soul-searching to figure out exactly what it is I want to do with my life so that I will be able to ultimately pursue a course that leaves me happy and truly fulfilled. As of right now, I'm not sure exactly what the soul-searching will entail, or where it will take me. And the truth is, not getting a job is a lot scarier than you would think. But this fear of confronting the great unknown is the very reason I know I need to take my so-called "Vision Quest."
In the year to come, I want to work, live, and travel doing things I would never otherwise do, seeing things I would never otherwise see. I want to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience the world to the fullest. As of right now, (in tentative chronological order), this includes Morocco, Turkey, India, Southeast Asia, and possibly South Africa.

Stay tuned to see how my "experiment in human intuition" plays out...